Stress can be good!

It's been a funny old day ... I started off feeling in control, I had a couple of fantastic networking meetings, and things were panning out as I'd hoped. Brilliant!

Then I got a call that rattled my cage a bit. I got off the phone feeling stressed, and despite telling myself that everything was OK I still felt anxious and had that nagging feeling in the back of my mind. You know the one, the voice that won't let you relax.

If I reminisce back to my pre-coaching days I would have turned into a Well of Worry - over-analysing everything, doubting myself, and wondering what I could do to make the nagging go away. Thankfully things are far easier these days!

Equipped with my 'coaching toolkit' (my mind!) I sat down and asked myself:-

• What is the anxiety and stress telling me?

It's purpose wasn't to make me feel bad, but to provide a valuable warning signal.

For me it was a wake up call to remind me that I hadn't done all the preparation I needed to for a particular event. The phone conversation had hit a nerve because unconsiously I knew there was more work to be done, and the stress was my 'alarm bell' saying "Faye - get on with it!".

So what did I do? I worked hard, I did all the necessary preparation I knew I had to do, and I got a plan of action in place. And what did I get? A relaxed mind again. I got to turn off my mental-alarm and go back to the sanctury of a peaceful headspace!

So next time you get stressed, sit down for a minute, and get some clarity. What is the stress telling you? Find out what the problem is, then work out how to solve it. At a time when logic often bypasses us, focus on a simple process for a happy head!

The Blame Game

You can't control all the events in your life, but you can control your response.

How often do you blame an event or someone else for the way you're feeling? Think about your week so far. Do any of these phrases ring a bell?

* He was so rude to me he ruined my day
* I'm stressed because the bus was packed this morning
* She shouted at me and put me in a bad mood
* My client was late which stressed me out
* I'm only unhappy because of the way you talk to me
* You made me feel really bad
* This company gets me down
* My job makes me unmotivated

No-one can make you feel anything, and no-one can control your response to an event or something that's been said or written. You, and only you, hold the remote control to your emotions and patterns of behaviour. We often accept that one thing causes another without actually taking any time to question whether there's a logical relationship between the two, and it's often far easier to pass blame rather than take responsibility ourselves.

Once you make the decision to be accountable for your emotional state and your subsequent responses you automatically think differently, behave differently, and therefore get different results.

Take the example of "This company gets me down". Does the company really have the ability to "get you down" or are you choosing to respond to external events in a certain way? Are you focusing on what you don't want rather than doing something about what you do want? Are you using dis-empowering language? Are you 'enjoying' the comfort zone of being able to blame someone else for how you feel rather than doing something about it yourself? "The Company" can not make you feel anything - only you can determine that.

So take responsibility today. Cast aside blame and put yourself back in the driving seat of your emotional well being. Enjoy being in control of how you want to feel, what you want to think, and what that means to you.